Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Hart of Dixie: We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

You know an episode's going to be a doozy when the title is a Taylor Swift song. Oh boy, here we go.

  • Previously on Dixie, sad Zade times; world is upset.
  • Apparently Zoe has been eating her feelings. And not just her feelings, but others too. You know its bad when you wake up with a lollipop glued to your face. 
  • Awww she smelled his shirt. This is just depressing.
  • Awkward kitchen times. 
  • And of course Lavon makes it even more awkward. 
  • In other news, Sister pointed out how good Wilson looks in red. Niice.
  • Brick's woman wants to redecorate the Breeland household. Lemon doesn't like this. Catfight!
  • hahaha Magnolia. 
  • At least Magnolia is honest; Lemon is just being two-faced. 
  • Ahh, her name is Shelby. Gotcha. 
  • The entire town is Team Zoe and random townies are coming up and yelling at him.
  • George is upset and no one cares.
  • Townies making Zoe pies. WTF? This isn't a wake people.
  • Awwww everywhere she looks holds a memory?! Precious. 
  • Zoe feels empowered and goes to work. 
  • Hot doctor is there and hott, but he is not Wade so we do not like him. 
  • Jonah, go jump in a humpback whale where you belong. 
  • Shelby and Brick want to co-habitat. I see Magnolia reacting well to this. 
  • Priest on a bike. Because, why not?
  • Tansy and Zoe, new bffls? Hmmm. 
  • Ahh drinking, solving problems now, but creating worse problems later. 
  • I have to say, this is sad but I am loving how sad she is because it shows how much she loves him.
  • Lily-Ann is at the bar and singing an anti-Wade song. See Zo, you can't always run from your problems. 
  • Lemon concocting evil plans with Jonah about Shelby. 
  • Doesn't Lemon have another apartment now? Why would she care so much?
  • Magnolia got paid off? 
  • The Exes of Wade clique is swapping war stories. 
  • Why doesn't Wade ever wear a shirt? Umm because when he is shirtless America rejoices?????
  • Zoe decides to rise above petty singalongs. You go girl. 
  • Dang, Wade had a lot of stuff at her house. 
  • Aww ROSE YAYYYYY!
  • Rose has a bf; precious. 
  • The townies took it to a new level with a Wade voodoo doll. 
  • I want a Wade doll. But a shirtless one that's not a voodoo doll. 
  • Magnolia a cheerleader. Because Dixie hasn't used the blonde popular cheerleader cliche yet. 
  • McKayla Maroney is back and slutting it up. Zoe thinks its Max cheating on Rose, but I bet it's not. 
  • Lemon bribing George with pie to dig up dirt on Shelby. 
  • Yes Lemon, the odds of Shelby being a Russian spy are high. 
  • I still don't believe that Max is cheating on Rose. 
  • Zoe runs and yells at Wade. Instead of coming across as  sad, it just came across as amusing. 
  • Zoe's back to singalongs and horrid, horrid, dancing. Now she's burning his possessions. Seems excessive. 
  • Ugh, Jonah go away. 
  • Jonah, you clearly don't know Zoe. She NEVER lets things go. 
  • Wilmy shots! The best!
  • WADE IN A TUX OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
  • I've decided that Wade should either be in a tux or shirtless. Make it happen, writers. 
  • Lemon and George playing the what might have been game and pretending to be married. 
  • Lemon is really bad at thinking on her feet and not acting suspicious. 
  • Shelby attempting to bribe Magnolia with shoes, Tory Burch, and Carrie Underwood. 
  • Brick knows that his daughter is materialistic and shallow. Niice. 
  • Out-Lemon Lemon. 
  • The newlyweds are back! 
  • Guarantee there is only one high school in Bluebell and therefore it is not a coincidence that Zoe ran into Rose. 
  • Zoe, you meddler, you. 
  • HAHAHHAHAHHAAH they got Magnolia a car. HAHHAHAHAHHAHHA. Best moment of the season. 
  • Yes Magnolia folded like a house of cards. Lemon, you would too had Daddy and Daddy's gf given you a brand new car. 
  • Lavon, relax. 
  • EVERYONE LEAVE WOUNDED WADE ALONE PLEASE!!!
  • See Lavon, FOOT IN YOUR MOUTH! 
  • Lavon you are nuts. Leave my Wadester alone. 
  • haha scrunchies do not belong in the 21th century. Lemon is right.
  • Lemon so excited about Shelby being a gold digger. 
  • Lemon George kiss! It was playing a part, but still. Interesting. 
  • Zoe, stop trying to be hip. 
  • Called this one. Zoe, Zoe, Zoe. When will you learn?
  • "I thank you kindly for your assistance and goodnight." Lemon's always so polite. 
  • Lemon knows the expression fiscal cliff? Hmm. 
  • Magnolia looks confused. Girl clearly doesn't know the expression fiscal cliff. 
  • "I better not lose my Rav 4 over this." Magnolia, always thinking deep. 
  • The only girl who ever meant anything to him??? Uhhhhhh Wade. 
  • Lost his best girl and best friend? Wade needs a hug! I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!
  • All is right with Lavon and Wade. I wish all was right with Zoe and Wade. 
  • Lemon and Zoe bonding. Apparently it's weird rando friendship week on Dixie
  • Lily-Ann needs to get a life. 
  • Jonah why do you pop up everywhere? GO AWAY!
  • Jonah sucks. What a cheeseball.
  • Who brings oranges just to juggle in front of someone. What a tool bag. 
  • Way to walk away, Zoe.
  • This is the most dressed down I have ever seen Lemon. 
  • "I absolve you." That's a new one. 
  • Aww the sad box of stuff. :(
  • DON'T MOVE ON ZOE! DON'T DO IT!
  • Gah why are these two so perf for each other????
  • So so sad. 
  • UGH Ruby's coming back??? Gross. 

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